help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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