dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
