Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
