im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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