doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
