Whod you bang
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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