i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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