I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
How naked do you want me to be?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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