i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
