It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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