apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
