please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
