I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
