Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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