I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there