I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
