How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
They have beer where we have blood.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
