If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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