I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
