White coat. Heels.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize