How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
