If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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