I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
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She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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