Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Barsexuality is the new black.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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