If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
