I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
My dad just said "fuck circus"
A+ Viking dick
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
