Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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