I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize