Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
In America we eat man semen.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
