end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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