My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
do herpes really smell.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize