so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
