Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
