we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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