I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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