she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize