u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
