My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
