So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
