1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
