The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize