She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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