i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
