8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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