Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
My feet surprised me
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize