I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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