Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
