my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
