4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
