Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
