Don't you send me to vm
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
