So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
This is my gift to your gina
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize