have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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