She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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