I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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